Sabah & Sarawak to be relocated

KUALA LUMPUR — In an effort to strengthen national unity and in line with the 1Malaysia concept, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Mohd Najib Tun Razak announced today that the East Malaysian states of Sabah and Sarawak would be moved to the peninsula.

BEFORE: Sabah and Sarawak in their current location

Speaking at a Press conference after a Cabinet meeting, Najib said that the relocation was necessary to ensure that the nation’s different peoples would not have any more physical boundaries to mix around.

“We’ve had the vast South China Sea separating the two Malaysias for the longest time now,” said the Prime Minister excitedly. “It’s time to close the gap, and allow our different races, tribes and cultures to naturally immerse with one another.”

The relocation plan is scheduled to start next year, with reclamation works commencing in May.

AFTER: The new, unified '1Malaysia' Malaysia

“It’s a big project, costing well over RM850 trillion,” said Najib. “The project would take 10 years to complete, since we’d need to move all the soil, water sources, flora, fauna, man-made structures and of course, the people. But it’ll be worth it, since we’ll truly be 1Malaysia.”

The two huge states, spanning nearly 200,000 square kilometres, are now part of the greater Borneo island together with Brunei Darussalam and the part of Indonesia called Kalimantan, but would be joined with the eastern side of Peninsular Malaysia.

“The states would be reconstructed almost exactly identical to how they are now,” said Najib. “This would ensure that the natives would not feel ‘out of place’ when they move back to their relocated homes.

“Of course, we might ‘improve’ some things when we rebuild the states. We’re thinking, maybe Mount Kinabalu could be higher than Everest. I mean, why not? It’s not every day that you get to change what nature has given us.

“And if we take the soil from inside Gua Niah and use it to add on Mount Kinabalu’s height, we’d get both a bigger cave and taller mountain, effectively rewriting two Guinness World Records. Now that’s what I call value for money!”

Asked what the neighbouring Brunei and Indonesia had to say about the move, Najib said that he had discussed the issues with the leaders of both nations.

“His Majesty the Sultan of Brunei did ask me why we were taking Sabah and Sarawak away, leaving his kingdom just a group of tiny islands in the middle of the South China Sea. The Indonesian president also voiced his concern,” said the PM.

“However, I told them that we all need to ‘hijrah’ to better ourselves, and that neighbours move away all the time. And I also reassured them that although we may be physically further after this, we would always be close in our hearts. They were very understanding.

“Besides, after this, there’d be no more issue of illegal smuggling across the borders and such.”

On protests by the Kelantan state government, citing the ‘loss of a coastline’ and ‘off-shore petroleum’, Najib said that this is of national interest, and the opposition-held state administration should not be so selfish.

“These people simply refuse to understand the importance of 1Malaysia. They keep on looking a the small things like the death of their fishing industry or the loss of billions of ringgit of income.

“Serves the Kelantanese people right for voting in such small-minded leaders.”