Nose4news editor commits seppuku

KUALA LUMPUR — Hassan Skodeng, the editor of Nose4news, a weblog that posts absolutely fake news, has committed ‘seppuku’, the Japanese custom of killing one’s self by stabbing one’s self with a sword, after a considerable number of readers believed the crap he put online.

In a written statement found beside his cold carcass, Hassan said that he couldn’t take how fucking dumb some people can be, believing the bullshit he concocted, despite putting so many obvious qualifiers about the false nature of his posts.

“It embarrasses me how these so-called cyber-literate oafs can react so angrily at the jokes I write. I tell them early on, from the get-go, that it’s all absolute fiction, total horsecrap. True lies. And yet they still think what I write is true.”

Hassan also expressed his disappointment that the image of Pinocchio with an elongated nose and the line “The truth is out there (not in here)” wasn’t enough to convince some readers that he’s only kidding, and that whatever he spews out on the site is utter bull.

“You’d think that everyone who could read would know the story of Pinocchio and how his nose would grow longer if he lied,” wrote Hassan, in his own blood. “And when I used the X-Files line of ‘The Truth is Out there, not in here’, what the fucking hell did they think I meant with that?”

Hassan added that he regrets making his fib tales sound too realistic.

“I should have stayed away from realistic things like relocating entire states and people going up to outer space to evade the law. Or retired politicians becoming Care Bears and stuff. Those sound completely plausible.

“I should’ve stuck to writing about Voltron and Ultraman,” he said. “I’m sure no dumbass with an ounce of intelligence would believe that they exist.

“Maybe.”

23 Comments

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23 responses to “Nose4news editor commits seppuku

  1. Kennee

    Hey there,
    no need to feel upset over it. (I think u see life in such a funny way that ull never get upset!). Some people just needs to take a break from seriousness and laugh a little. (a chuckle works for me). I like ur articles very much, and I got to know u from mt2day. U should get ur blog out more. This kinda good crap needs more appreciation from ppl like us πŸ™‚ take care.

  2. marc

    you made my day. I bookmarked your blog as my pleasure reading…haha

  3. manic_annie

    Hahahahahahahaha!
    Great stuff to start my boring job with. Still laughing at the previous post and the comments by those smart-ass dum-dums. On the other hand, it is these people who make up the statistics for the ‘dangers of the Internet’ researches. They read and think msm-style…

  4. your last blogpost is one of the few that make me actually goes thru each and every single comments πŸ™‚ and boy they make me laugh muahahaha! πŸ™‚

  5. nose4news

    What? You guys don’t believe I’m dead?

  6. Nope, we are just convinced that the dead aren’t dead after all.. πŸ˜‰

  7. paxter

    bro,

    dun worry bro, the way i see it let them get angry it makes reading the replies so much funnier… I actually think it enhances ur main post.

    Cant blame them tho have u seen how at toll gates people all que at one toll gate that says tunai when the one beside it says touch and go / tunai and its always empty? Some of our brothers and sisters suffer from CD chronic Dyslexia.

  8. I just became a fan. Great going with the hillarious wisecracks.
    Well then, I guess in the future you should ‘filter’ using a trivia on anyone visiting your site.
    Something simple like “which of the eggs are bigger.. an ostrich’s or a whale’s?”

  9. WhiningCitizen

    Wah….I want to pengsan after looking at the 75 comments and some ppl really believe it.

    Perhaps if you had said that Gov will excavate the whole KL City and temporary move somewhere else to construct a new sewerage system so that no more flood then move back the whole KL city and they are open tender for Superman, Spiderman and etc heroes for the contract, probably we might see some flag burning or superman toy stomping in front of KLCC.
    On a more seriously note, this remind me of “Idiocracy (2006)”.

  10. I think they only way people will believe your articles are purely fictional is if you put cartoons like Pocoyo and Barney all over each and every article to illustrate your point.

    Your graphics (read: map) looked way too realistic.

    πŸ™‚

  11. Small Chief

    But Lorna, the graphics was the best part of the comedy. It’s really a blatant cut and paste using photoshop.

    Hmmm…okay, the graphics was SECOND best part of the comedy. The best part was MalaysiaToday actually published it. The editor or editors there could’ve differentiate news from pranks. Or maybe that has been their way all along.

  12. sokong

    U noe, they believe anything on the internet.
    And when I say anything I mean anything. lol

  13. Redd

    dude ur like The Onion, malaysia-style! i love ur blog!

  14. I was rolling on the floor when reading the previous article about the relocation of Sabah & Sarawak. Then I read some of the comments posted here and also in Malaysia Today, I suddenly feel like crying.

    There is something very melancholic about the lack of humor (or intelligent?) of our nation. I suddenly feel like joining the brain drain movement…

    With this kind of level, it’s sooo easy if the government want to fool us via media manipulation…

    LOL

  15. kobyakawa

    lol dude u are sure funny as we sabahan always said “this kind of people has a lot of time to spare or memang teda karaja “

  16. LOL how did this guy write about his dead self? *semantic sarcasm*

    man I really love the way u write your articles and even I also can’t believe there are dumb@$$ people among us who can’t take jokes. This is not about being serious. Even I’m also a serious person myself but I know how to distinguish between facts and pure fakes. I ROTFL reading some ‘smart@$$’ comments written in English as if to show they’re *cough* smart although what that are showing is only their stupidity for not being able to digest jokes WTF. Keep up your good works man, even if you died already LOL

    BTW I think your writing will fit uncyclopedia well (the link is on my name if u never heard about it). I mean you’re great in putting realism in jokes to the extent that some moron are actually believe them. I’m one of the editors in uncyclopedia and you may register & contribute something there if u like to

  17. Winz

    Your relocation of S&S article was posted on FB got my attention to your site… it’s da bomb! And I just laughed my ass off on the article on Beyonce. Dude, you rock!
    I’ve always enjoyed The Onion… now I am glad (and super proud) to say that we have our own Malaysian version!

  18. dude – this horsecrap is TOTALLY funny! i will never EVER regret stumbling upon ur blog. greetings from russia!

    p/s: my fav post is surely the 850 trilliion ringgit godly project of relocating the borneo states of msia. thats sooooooo cool~~~~~ i wonder if its even possible to think of it???? ROFLMAO

  19. Jayne

    hahaha… oh gosh i’m a total fan…
    esp. love this line: “wrote Hassan, in his own blood.” ^^

    and yeah i believe you were dead… but brought back to life by Angelina Jolie’s kiss mah… ROFL~~

  20. Ooo… undead zombie blogger with a sword sticking out of his belly.

    Awesome.

  21. maddy

    dude, you can convince someone, you should be a lawyer. ahaha

  22. ha ha ze ze

    dude, continue your bull perfectly next time alright! had to admit, at first i thought your site is a fact (without reading the heading of ur blog..haha!).
    thank goodness i am no longer a dumbass.(i think?)
    it lightens my day after all.

  23. goodboy

    man i’ve just discovered this blog, well done to the writer. ur great!
    and don’t blame the ppl who actually believe the content, they are adding the comedy value to this blog.
    pure gold comedy this!

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