Malaysian football stars confident to beat World

PROOF OF GREATNESS: The Malaysian football team after decimating Vietnam for the gold

KUALA LUMPUR — Fresh from the glorious SEA Games gold medal victory over wimpy Vietnam recently, the invincible and utterly superhuman Malaysian football squad today challenged the entire football teams from all over the world to a match.

“We’re unbeatable, to be frank,” said a beaming team captain Mohd Aidil Zafuan Abd Radzak matter-of-factly, as he casually pumped iron while being interviewed at Wisma FAM. “At first, we only knew amongst ourselves that we were the best in the world, nay, the whole galaxy. But now that we’ve got the SEA Games gold, it’s fact.

THE BEST OF THE BEST: Aidil glowing with stunning aura of greatness

“So the team and I have decided to throw the challenge to all the Beckhams, Henrys, Kakas, Rooneys and Ronaldos out there, and their overpaid teams, to come and try to beat us. If they dare.”

The dashing and perfectly sculptured Aidil said that the Malaysian footballers were ‘hungry for action’ and want to ‘scalp some so-called superstars’, after easily bulldozing through the obviously inferior South East Asian teams in Vientiane, Laos, a week ago.

“The teams from the region were, how shall I say this delicately, unworthy of our presence. They were quite honestly, pathetic, compared to the flawless strategies and extraordinary skills my teammates and I display,” he laughed, as his posse of 20 or so fans and groupies nodded in agreement and scantily-clad girls rub lotion of his ripping biceps, while he sipped on hot Darjeeling tea. “I have more skills and greatness in my left toe than they have in their whole teams.”

Aidil’s teammate Mohd Sabre Mat Abu added that unlike most world superstars, the Malaysian players only play for the love of the game. “I’ve been observing how these so-called ‘superstars’ have been traded around the English, European and South American leagues like meat,” he said, as he majestically posed for fans screaming from across the street, taking pictures. “At hundreds of millions of pounds, we the superhuman players in the Malaysian team, feel that the money is better spent on charity, instead of wasting it on those bafoons. How silly, they are childish amateurs compared to us.

“So this is a way to change that perception, by thrashing them and telling the team owners to stop wasting good money. I’d love to teach that pretty boy Beckham a thing or two about proper football.”

Aidil said that the date, venue and even the rules for the match would be left to the would-be losers, the World’s superstars.

“We don’t care who we’ll play against, let alone where and when. If they want to be humiliated today, I’ll clear my schedule,” he said, grinning and displaying his perfectly aligned and pure white teeth. “The GQ magazine photoshoot can be done tomorrow.

“In fact, I don’t care how many of them, those so-called superstars, want to play in the game. They can play fair and substitute every two minutes if they want, or they can all play at the same time. My eleven can beat any number. The bigger their number, the better.”

Mohd Sabre added, “They can fill up the entire field, if they want. We are the Malaysian Tigers, and we are jantans. Far from being afraid, we shall destroy whatever false ego and reputation that they have,” he said, before shooing away the reporters dismissively from the room, to accommodate more groupies waiting outside.


Filed under National News, Sports, World News

12 responses to “Malaysian football stars confident to beat World

  1. audie61

    yeah ony if they dont party all night long and eat more nasi lemak…

  2. Ibat

    Malaysia will win the 2525 Galactic Cup Football. Nostradamus said so! Now they’ve got SEA games gold, they can do anything. Malaysia boleh! Hope I’ll live to see that day!

  3. we shall see u guys on the next world cup then? 🙂

  4. halfey

    it is most likely that Malaysian football team will deliberately lose the future World Cup qualifications because they are already aiming for the higher. For them World Cup is nothing but just a kid’s play that they wouldn’t care less if they win or lose


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  6. kelvin


    Do thing step by step. A small achievement doesn’t mean everything.

    Aim to become the best team in Asia first, and then challenge the whole world. Don’t say it too loud yet with a gold in SEA game. This process takes time for the world to recognize us. Otherwise people will think you people are just kids.

    And from what you sounds, you are.

    “It isn’t hard to become the best, but to keep maintaining as the best.”


    malaysia football team is the best of the best in the world,i have no doubt they can beat brazil 10-0 .

  8. If they can beat Vietnam, they can beat anyone!

    Uh, maybe eventually.

  9. Lufkin

    If they can beat Vietnam, they can beat anyone!! they’re now even more powerful than god of football..

    Shaolin soccer? Kungfu style? bring it on, i bet Malaysian team can beat them with both eyes closed.. hahaha!!

    OMFG!! lawak gilerr!! nak tkencing aku gelak!!

  10. “A Korean asked God when will Korea win the World Cup. God replied, in 100 years. The Korean cried as he would not be able to see that happening in his life time.
    Then a Japanese asked God the same question. When God said in 200 years, the Japanese cried as he would not be able to witness it in his life time. Finally, A Malaysian asked God when will Malaysia win the World Cup. This time, God cried!”

  11. sala

    hahahahha,,,, u guys r so damn funny hahhahah

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