Police warns of overhappy new year celebration

KUALA LUMPUR — IN a move to curb immoral and illegal activities, the police today warned all those who are planning to celebrate the New Year to not overdo it by being excessively happy. 

TAN SRI MUSA: Hopes for a vice-free New Year celebration

 

“Every year we’ve had to deal with revellers getting too happy, drunk and rowdy, displaying improper behaviours in public and even damaging properties,” said Inspector General of Police, Tan Sri Musa Hassan at a briefing this morning. “This year, we’re being proactive and issuing a warning early on, that such overhappy behaviours will not be tolerated. We are a multi-racial, 1Malaysia society, with many cultural sensitivities, so everyone would have to keep a lid on their excitement levels, in order to keep our peace and harmony.” 

Musa said that a special task force has been set up to look for tell-tale signs of overhappiness during the eve of 2010, like groups laughing together, being merry, hugging, and other vile behaviours. 

The Overhappiness to Death Chart

“The team will be vigilant. Heaven knows overhappiness is the root of all vice and social ills,” he said, as he unveiled a chart showing the direct correlation between excessive happiness and the consecutive pain and suffering. “Here, an uncareful reveller will start his or her new year celebrations with being too happy. Next, would come the alcohol, psychotropic drugs and other illegal substances, coupled with wild merriment with friends. 

“And before you know it, pain, suffering, and death.” 

Musa however, said that it is not the police’s intention to be a party pooper or to curb happiness among citizens per se. 

“Of course we want every Malaysian to be happy. However, how happy does one get before others get unhappy with his happiness? Just like rights and freedom — there is a certain limit to it. You are free to exercise your rights, but not until your rights impede of the rights of others. Same thing with happiness. We cannot be too happy until others become unhappy. 

“Sure, we all want to celebrate the coming of the new year. But we also have to remember that in a multi-cultural society like ours, we have to respect the feelings of others. If we go crazy celebrating without limits, what about those who do not celebrate the new year? 

“We want everyone to usher in 2010 in a pleasant, polite manner, and not by displaying wild and shameful behaviours that would embarrass the country. Key word here is ‘pleasant’. No need to be too excited about a new year. No need to be too happy. 

“Besides, 2009 hasn’t been such a happy year for everyone anyways, what with economic uncertainties, alarming crime rates and other crap we find in society. Why should 2010 be any different? 

“So, have a Tolerable New Year. Pleasant, at best.”

6 Comments

Filed under National News

6 responses to “Police warns of overhappy new year celebration

  1. I’m sorry but this is the first time I don’t get any feel of parody from your article x_x but still this one is great if observed from the ‘serious’ point of view

    So, have a Tolerable New Year too ^_^

  2. Tolerable New Year to you too, you magnificent bastard. 😉

  3. SJ

    HAHAHAHA! loved the Happiness to Death chart!

  4. Pingback: Happy 47th birthday, Malaysia!

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