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Hassan Skodeng a free baboon!

DIFFICULT CLIENT: Jahaberdeen trying to discuss the case with an unattentive Hassan at the court cafetaria

PETALING JAYA — In a landmark decision this morning, the Petaling Jaya Sessions Court freed the editor of Nose4news, Hassan Skodeng, after the public prosecutors classified his case of writing lies with regards to TNB and Earth Hour as ‘DNAA’ (discharge not amounting to acquittal).

Speaking at the court cafetaria after the court ruling, Mr Skodeng expressed his relief at the turn of events.

“Naturally I’m quite pleased with the decision,” said the baboon, as he sipped his teh tarik, his red bottom cheeks glowing radiantly with happiness. “I’ve always maintained that the article I wrote was purely fictional, and written in jest without any malice intended, so I’m glad everyone’s sensibility and sense of humour prevailed.”

Hassan was charged under section 233(1) of the Multimedia and Communications Act in September last year after a fictional parody he wrote earned the wrath of TNB, Malaysia’s national power company. In his satire, TNB was said to be upset with the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) for organising the annual Earth Hour, in which participants turn off non-essential lights for an hour in support of energy conservation.

“I’m just glad it’s over,” added Hassan, as onlookers jeered in disgust over having a naked baboon in the court complex. “For months I’ve been having sleepless nights, wondering what would happen to my wife and kids if I were jailed. But now that everyone’s cool again, I can finally get back to foraging the jungle, looking for fruits and stuff — you know, whatever baboons and mandrills do.”

Hassan’s counsel Datuk Jahaberdeen Mohd Yunoos said that he was thrilled that the case was over.

“I’m just happy I don’t have to deal with primates again,” he said, with a look of relief. “At the beginning of the case I thought, here’s a baboon being prosecuted for his … uh… wild sense of humour, and he deserved justice. But in hindsight, I probably should have¬†stuck to defending humans. He was uncooperative, could not focus on the case and was always up to no good.

“And for goodness sake, I never knew how much wild animals stank until I met this guy.”

Looking appreciatively, Hassan said, “Well I’ve only got good things to say about Datuk J. He smells good. He da man.”

“And he da baboon,” said Jahaberdeen, dismissively as he walked off. “Never again.”

Hassan also expressed his deep gratitude to all those who had supported him throughout this ordeal. “First of all, to my wife, sorry. But you’re stuck with me. And to all the bloggers, friends both online and off, Nose4news readers, family and¬†colleagues — thank you. I shall try to keep myself out of trouble from now on.

“No promises though. I am still a baboon.”

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