Malaysia invents new months, critics say to delay elections

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY, this is a prank site. As indicated many, many times in numerous places, this whole blog is satirical, a parody news site, with ABSOLUTELY NO OUNCE OF TRUTH WHATSOEVER. So please, do not believe the bullshit below (and anywhere else on this blog), and just have a laugh. Don’t find it funny? It’s okay, thanks for dropping by, click somewhere else and have a nice day. — Skodeng —

PUTRAJAYA — Prime Minister Dato’ Sri Mohd Najib Tun Razak today announced the invention of two new calendar months to add to the existing twelve, in a move critics say is a shameless way for his Barisan Nasional administration to buy more time to prepare for the 13th general elections, which must be held no later than 27th June 2013.

The two new months — Febarch, inserted between February and March, and Marpril, slotted between March and April — consisting 30 days each, will be implemented starting this year and would increase the number of days in 2013 to a total of 425.

Najib said that the decision to add the new months did not have anything to do with the elections and that it was merely a way of giving more time for Malaysians to enjoy each year.

PEOPLE FRIENDLY: WIth the new months, Malaysians will have more time to spend with their families

PEOPLE FRIENDLY: WIth the new months, Malaysians will have more time to spend with their families

“Too many times I hear complaints by people that there isn’t enough time in their daily routine to do everything they needed or wanted to do,” said Najib to reporters at Sri Perdana. “Between their jobs and responsibilities, their daily commute being stuck in traffic and precious time to wind down, many cannot find the time to enjoy with their families or pursue their hobbies. My administration is very concerned about this trend, and being a caring government, feel that we must do something to help the people.

“Of course, the cost of adding more hours in a day is prohibitive — that would involve slowing down Earth’s rotation to delay sunrise and sunset, so we decided to use some innovation to add more days to the year — hence giving some breathing space for everyone. Malaysians are known around the world as some of the most hardworking people, but this may come at a cost. With 60 extra days in each year, we can all plan more time-off and vacations with our loved ones.

“At the very least, we would not have to rush everything so much,” said Najib.

The opposition meanwhile lambasted the premier for his latest announcement as a ‘desperate and unfair delaying tactic’.

“This is outrageous! The PM cannot simply invent months to buy more time to prepare for GE13,” said Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim, leader of Pakatan Rakyat when contacted. “Malaysians have spent too long under this oppressive regime to tolerate underhanded tactics like this, just because the ruling government is not ready to fight. We cannot wait any more. Call for elections now!” he growled angrily.

“Besides, how in God’s name are we supposed to fit with the timing of the rest of the world? While other countries enter 2014 in ten months, we would still be crawling along, left behind by two whole months,” added Anwar. “And in six years, we would be left behind by a whole year. The synchronisation process would be extremely stressful for businesses and communities alike, I’m already having trouble with jetlag from my international trips!”

Offering a rebuttal, Information, Communication and Culture Minister Datuk Seri Utama Dr Rais Yatim said that the opposition should stop viewing every government initiative as an election ploy. “Please, not everything we do is about the elections. We do, occasionally, do things for the benefit of the people, with no extrinsic motivation,” said Rais sarcastically. “The Prime Minister saw that the people were getting too stressed out, chasing deadlines and not having enough time for themselves, what’s wrong with helping them? Don’t be so negative!

“Every single time we do something good, the opposition finds ways to discredit us. We give BR1M, KR1M, TR1M, they say we’re bribing the people. There’s just no pleasing them. Besides, it is perfectly within the powers of the PM to adjust the calendar according to national interest. We’ve changed our monetary denominations and adjusted time zones before to accommodate commercial needs, what’s the big deal?” asked the senior cabinet minister.

“This is the difference between Barisan Nasional and Pakatan Rakyat — we are all about Malaysia Boleh (Malaysia Can) while for them it is always Tidak Boleh (Cannot),” he scoffed.

“This is our anything-is-possible spirit. The spirit of ‘1Malaysia Possible’. In fact, I will propose to the Prime Minister to launch this 1Malaysia Possible (1Mpossible) campaign as soon as possible, to embolden our people to embrace our endless possibilities. Let the opposition be stuck in their old ways, while we the youth accelerate into the future!

92 Comments

Filed under National News

92 responses to “Malaysia invents new months, critics say to delay elections

    • Yau Ping

      what the hell? u really want to help ur people increase our salary remove all those foreigneer and give us more space to work,reduce the working hours so we can spend good time at home with family, low down the housing price, demolish 24 hour call center…this is what u suppose to do. we want a better living we need good paid jobs in k.l…….it is so hard to get job here

      • KnightleyFan

        do you really have no other outlet to vent all your frustrations about the shortcomings of this government? vote with your feet bro, nobody’s stopping you there, but realize that your posting here accomplishes nothing. the people who matter will not read it and the rest of the people will just ignore it as another sad/angry person’s rant.

  1. is this a bullshit or wat?

  2. Anonymous

    nonsense!!!!

  3. MsianNonMsian

    I’m inclined to believe this is a parody. It is isn’t it? Adding new months to a year for yourself sounds too absurd.

  4. hometuitionjobadmin

    haha, LOL!

  5. Hangmen13

    Humourless Malaysians taking trollnews seriously in 3, 2, 1…

  6. WTH is wrong with MALAYSIA?

    mother of goddess godlike O.O seriously you have just destroyed the calender and wtf with the new months WTH then everything within our time and year would be different than others WTF hari raya, hari depavali , hari raya cina everything would be so freaking changed and i dont want that WTH

  7. jyip

    which planet he live in I wonder!

  8. scleang

    Source? Google gives no search result of the idea to implement two new months is by Najib.

  9. tipuism

    Wow, he’s even better than Caesar!
    Julius and Augustus Caesar each inserted July and August in to the Roman Calendar.
    http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0002067.html

    Malaysia PM goes 1 up by inserting 2 months!

  10. I do not think it will give positive attribute to our country’s future

  11. Abdul Gajah

    this site is a prank site, right?

  12. Dafuq did i just read!!! Adding two new months??? Do something useful for the people… not something totally insane. Knock Knock!! Wake up Mr.Prime Minister…Get out of Wonderland. You are not Alice!!

  13. Max

    Why not add to 48 hrs per day, 14 days per week? Then ppl can work for 16 hrs to speed up the job…… idiot…..

  14. nose4news

    Yes folks, this IS a prank site. Parodies only, with no ounce of truth. Now chill, aight.

    • Cherlene

      Really, why would people waste their time and effort writing such things like that, nothing to do? Crazy!

      • Essentially you’re asking what stand-up comedy is for. Hint: it’s not just for laughs. … Erm, just to be sure: more hint – to illuminate the absurdities and wrongs of our society. If anything we need more of this in Malaysia. Clearly Malaysians aren’t used to this tool/aspect of our modern 21st century world yet, judging by the other comments here.

  15. Even though its a prank…its still freaking awesome to troll him 😀

  16. Nic Chan

    What in the hell~ people actually believe this ?

  17. Marion DragonRabbit

    OMG people, this is a COMIC SITE! Don’t take this seriously!

  18. dr2

    Guys please read the websites slogan la…. haiyooo… its just a joke…. “nose4news – Pseudo news. True lies. Believe at ur own peril” haha…. good one

  19. ABC

    PEOPLE, READ THE TITLE OF THIS WEBSITE…..BITCH PLEASE…

  20. Anonymous

    is fun to see how people commented so seriously LOLL

  21. amin

    TIL majority of malaysians cant see satire even if it slapped them in the face. Leave the idiots be.

    • Ara

      HAHAHA…amin..i love ur comments.. Malaysian, read properly.. do not jump into the body..read from head to toe of the news..aiyooo…u guys..so silly meh..

    • Malaysians aren’t accustomed to satire like this. It’s more of a Western thing. Personally I spend enough time on Reddit and Onion News to know better.

      • Ali

        Wow blitztempest aren’t you so sophisticated! Wasted no time drawing some similarities of your fine self with the white man. You’re a Malaysian too la bro! Like it or not, we will always be defined by the dumbest of our peers. Don’t like that thought? Then actively do something to improve the collective around you. Laughing at your dumb peer, is as futile as laughing at yourself since you belong to that collective.

        This goes out to everyone else here, who’s trying to appear all incredibly intelligent.

      • Chill out Ali, I’m just pointing out the reason for all this confusion. If you got it good on you and if you didn’t, take the hit.That’s the point of satire, don’t take it too seriously.

  22. Not sure this blog is not obvious enough to show that this is just a prank or the people is too dumb to understand this. Anyway thanks for the laugh I found it quite hilarious for both the article and the people who responded it.

    • Ara

      hehehe…yeah.. but its going more hilarious to read the responds of those who doesn’t understand that this is only a prank news..LOL…very funny..

  23. Haters

    He should named those 2 months Najib & Rosmah. So when people asked what’s the date, it’s 10th of Rosmah.

  24. William P Nojey

    Very interesting perception. Your report is so well written that it might just be true … hahaha. Well done.

  25. ST

    I like it how some people will read the entire article and then NOT REALIZE this is a parody site… USE YOUR EYES AND YOUR BRAIN PEOPLE. Jeez…

    On a different note, I LOVE THIS SITE, Dude, you are awesome. Keep up the good work! I laughed so hard.

  26. shahnizam

    lol…both for the news and the stupid comments from the people who thinks this is real…hahaha…nice one

  27. Genious

    FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY, this is a prank site

  28. You are really a good news writer. It looked and sound and structured exactly like a news in any other truth website so people falls for it. Take pleasure!

  29. Fred Hooper

    Sometimes the government is not very clever lah. All they needed to do was ask Superman to fly really fast in the opposite direction of the earth, and turn back time to UMNOs halcyon days. Oh but then Najib might not have been born yet…oh wait wait yes he can just hitch a ride on Superman’s back. Oh…cannot i suppose…as big as Superman’s back is, Rosie would take up all the space. Ho well.

  30. yeow

    you guys just cant take jokes lol….

  31. Alvin Yeo

    LOL… if you work in the PM office, we may actually see this happening!!! LOL… it was worth a good laugh…

  32. Shar

    absolutely brilliant! Keep up the fab work

  33. Mr. Nose4News,

    Good read! =D My first time at your site, and I didn’t read your banner at the top – the news was just too juicy! And I was like, wow, this is quality writing (really – sometimes the sentence structuring in TMI, FMT, TheStar, etc could use some improvement).

    And then I felt like… wait… is this… then I saw horsecrap and all that stuff in your banner.

    Anywayz, I thought your political satire was funny enough that I’ve recommended it to one of my friends. =) Why only one you say? Well, no one simply walks into Mordor… (notice the madness that has been generated in the past comments =P)

    Cheers,
    Chuah

  34. ahpek

    the originator of the idea sure possess tahap gaban brain ! he will mindfuck all of the people and of course worldwide !! hahah too many jokers in ruling government in malaysia will certainly bring all of us back to zaman mesopotamia !! hahahahahahahahah

  35. Reggie

    Omgoodness ppl! This is a joke lah… Why is it so hard for us to appreciate satirical humour? sheesh…

  36. KnightleyFan

    aiyo judging from the responses a lot of you wouldn’t understand British/deadpan humor

    guys it’s a satirical piece. you’re supposed to read it and laugh about how accurate this depiction of a (shockingly) possible scenario is. this is intelligent humor, meant to make you think, not to get your riled up.

  37. Peter-Pan

    Certain people just can’t tell facts from fiction… Sigh…

  38. dav

    of course this is a joke… lol

  39. Lam

    Hilarious and well written! Wonder where some Malaysian’s sense of humour (and brain power) is sometimes

  40. yeowlong

    funnier then funniest! you are a great lamer!😄

  41. First time at your site and I have to say your articles are AMAZING! I’ve been on the lookout for good Malaysian satirical news columns, but this is just pure gold.

    Please do keep up the good work! Having people mistake your articles for real news is one of the best things about satire. If they couldn’t even read the massive banner on the top half of the webpage, they NEED to be made fun of..

  42. Laughing Buddha ...

    comments are even funnier!

  43. 1MPossible is comedy gold. Keep it up!

  44. RJames

    I absolutely support this idea from BN! Our PM has demonstrated again his brilliance in tackling crucial issues. I don’t know what’s not to like and why people are disagreeing. Two more months will increase the year to 425 days! we will be able to celebrate Hari Raya and Chinese new year twice. Anwar Ibrahim has no vision

  45. This is TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS , he think he is GOD ? Joke of international news for sure

  46. rs

    LOL. Satire at it’s best. But why is everyone so naive? -_-

  47. Zindanei

    what if our pm saw this and implement it??@@

  48. IngeB

    Unusual to find such funny political satire here in Malaysia, it really made me laugh, thanks!

    That quite a few even took it seriously and believed it is – in my opinion – a sad sign of what people think the government is capable of.. at the same time I know that such satire is not big around here, so that explains part of the reaction Where I come from, political satire is commonplace and great fun🙂

  49. the world biggest joke by our ‘lovely’ PM…-_-

  50. Searyi

    This article is hilarious, what’s even funnier are all those comments from people who took it seriously. One even angrily demanded for the source of such claims. LMAO. No wonder so many Malaysians are getting duped by numerous scams. Benda bodoh mcm ni pun boleh percaya?

  51. Naqib

    Today I learned Malaysians have a really bad sense of humor. This article gave me a stich! Looking forward to Marpril!

  52. I love watching people take obvious spoofs seriously.

  53. Kay Ann

    Clever!! Love your article!

  54. Mern

    1Malaysia Possible (1Mpossible)…I laughed out loud! Good one, you’re brill.

  55. LOL this is so funny! i can see the satire in between the lines! great job!

  56. KC

    Guys, don’t get agitated. Read the above caption before u read this article. It is meant to say that Najib Boleh…. anything can happen in Malaysia.. good one.

  57. Hey there Skodeng, or whoever owns the contents of this site,

    I just have to say, I’m so sorry you had to spoil the whole feel and satirical gist of your site by having to insert a disclaimer at the top of this post to say that it’s a prank!

    I read your post earlier this morning (found it brilliantly hilarious by the way, good job!) and the disclaimer wasn’t there…. hours later I check back in to get my dose of amusement via comments of the ignoramus, and found those words in bright red font glaring at me.

    Ohhhh how I wish I could find a way to repent on behalf of my countrymen for their epic fail and lack of a sense of humour *hangs head in dejection*

    Still, it would be quite awesome if you’d left the post as it is, and let the absurd comments keep rolling in. Makes for some good funny reading for the rest of us!😀

    Cheers,
    Fizzy

    • nose4news

      Hi Fizzy, I’m afraid prior experience has taught me that the ignorant and humourless can still cause real problems, which is something my family and I can live without at this point. Sorry to have spoilt the fun for the rest, but I’ve had my share of days going up and down the courthouse. Heh. Thanks for visiting, hope you had a good laugh🙂

    • i came here whenever i need a laugh… it just hilarious right.🙂

  58. yourmama

    Why is it so many Malaysians cannot distinguish between satire and reality? Some say a measure of intelligence is humor, the ability to laugh at a predicament. I guess that says a lot about what the country has become…

  59. HAHA love this! Great article, really. You should take it as a compliment that people thought this was a real (and that they actually read this, how rare).

  60. Anonnymous

    This sure is is funny…. Even funnier when idiots can read through the whole article without reading the banner on the top…

  61. commenter

    How does this relates to Malaysians will have more time to spend with their families? not like these are ‘holiday’ months..

  62. santan

    2 x Sundays in a week would be nice..

  63. Aiyo

    Malaysians aren’t thought English very well eh?

  64. Leo

    hahahahahaha. Gave me a good laugh. Thanks for injecting some much needed humour in this dull parade.

  65. vanillacOla

    febarch??? mapril??? LOL! u are too funny, too funny.. keep ’em coming😀

  66. Finally I can actually comment on this site. Must be something wrong with my browser.

    I think I saw a hint or 2 of the next upcoming post. I hope Mapril is implemented. Hahaha!!

  67. Ashe

    In the land of the daft and dumb, the one-eyed, one-armed man/woman with a sense of humor is far better off. Haha!

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