Nose4news editor Hassan Skodeng says sorry for sounding real

HASSAN SKODENG: "Sorry."

KUALA LUMPUR — The editor of Nose4News has apologised to TNB president and CEO, Dato’ Sri Che Khalib Mohd Noh, the staff and stakeholders of Tenaga Nasional Berhad (TNB), along with Nose4News readers and Malaysians in general for making his fake news sound too real.

In a statement read by his lawyer cum occasional punching bag, Leman Keding, Hassan said that he was sorry to have caused such ruckus, and that he didn’t mean to make anyone believe his extraordinarily stinky crap.

“I have been rather naughty, I have to admit,” said Hassan. “In coming up with this rotten piece of doo-doo, I had probably used too many realistic elements, and not concocting enough bullshit to keep the fake news sound fake-ish. Perhaps I should have referred to the TNB president and CEO by his actual alien name, Klathoxx-513, instead of the name he uses on Earth and one he is most known by.

“I formally apologise to Che Khalib, his staff and their family members for this irresponsible writing. TNB is a fine organisation, and every member of TNB works selflessly to keep the nation supplied with electricity.

“To all Malaysians, I also apologise for sounding like I was telling the truth. I wish to clarify that TNB is NOT suing the World Wildlife Foundation (WWF), or anyone, for that matter, for organising the Earth Hour. In fact, TNB fully supports the Earth Hour global project, and any effort to conserve energy.”

Hassan also implores all Nose4news readers to stop believing his lies, no matter how true they sound.

“Apparently all the warnings I placed all over Nose4News that everything on this site is pure fiction, true lies, pure horsecrap and has nothing to do with anybody alive, dead, undead and unalive, are not sufficient to keep everyone disbelieving my bullshit. For that, I am truly sorry.

“I also would like to take this opportunity to further clarify on my previous writings,” continued Hassan regretfully.

“Sabah and Sarawak will NOT be relocated to the peninsular at a cost of RM850 trillion. The world does not have that kind of money.

“Bill Gates did NOT patent the word ‘Fuck’, so everyone may continue using the term without fear of being billed by Microsoft.

“Ultraman did NOT kill an endangered giant crocodile. As far as I know, Ultraman has not killed any benevolent creature, by accident or on purpose. He is a responsible and caring gigantic superhero. Love him to bits.

“Malaysia did NOT enlist Voltron or any other giant robot to help tackle the economic crisis, and the country is also NOT planning to triple the Scenic Bridge.

“And lastly, Asia’s Biggest Loser champion David Gurnani has NOT lost all his weight. Mr Gurnani is still very much not weightless, even if he looks like he is.

“As you can see above, my lies sound very credible. It’s almost like I work at CNN or something. I’m such a bastard.”

Hassan promises to not sound too real in his future articles, and will include bolder and clearer warnings so that his fictional creations will no longer be believed by anyone with a reasonable amount of sensibility and even half-an-ounce of intelligence.

“Again, I’m sorry. I swear, on the name of my mother’s cousin’s uncle-twice-removed, the next time I write, I’ll make it obvious that I’m only bullshitting. And that, is the truth. Really.”

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81 Comments

Filed under National News, World News

81 responses to “Nose4news editor Hassan Skodeng says sorry for sounding real

  1. Noel Lee

    damn, how i wished it was true. LOL

  2. yusri

    well, everyone make mistake. If you want to write a blog about lies, then please tell ur viewers about it at the first place. I hope tnb didnt sue you

  3. rocsta

    haha, you asked for it…gotcha!!

  4. MACC

    You’re not very smart. Don’t know how to what to joke about and what not.

    • what? Can’t you tell the difference between a mere joke and a parody? I guess uncyclopedia is right when they said “there’s no word for ‘parody’ in malay”. Sigh… It’s vary embarrassing to see that there are too many stupid people over-reacted to this kind of stuff and it’s even more embarrassing to know that those stupid people are my fellow Malaysian…

    • hardman

      he’s smart alright.. you’re the idiot!!!!

  5. je ne comprend pas

    just can’t help to think that the apologies are horse crap too

    • Melissa

      Dear French Dude/Dudette,

      Ummmm… YES THE APOLOGIES ARE HORSE CRAP TOO. My apologies for using caps on you, but seriously!! Why are there so many ppl who just don’t get satire!? Let me try to help…

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire

      There you go. Cuba ya. Thanks!

      p/s: Long Live Hassan the Gorgeous Baboon! 🙂

  6. I actually find the comments just as entertaining!

    Also, very handsome picture of you there Hassan.

  7. oh,come on.whoever believed all this news must be a real a-hole!!haha!!u clearly states that it was all lies.i want u to keep it up.ur site is good for a rough day~i love u,hassan skodeng!!

  8. I think i have to say:’ Hassan, you are an awesome person’.

  9. Keep up with your writing, even though they are filled to the brim with horse crap and bullshit with a twist of irony. The world needs more writer with your sense of humour… Great Job~!

    *patting Hassan on the back… *

  10. Is this apology also a lie. Sad to see u living in a lie. A joke is not funny when it cause harm.

  11. Bwahaha

    Amazing. There are people who actually believed the original article (which, BTW, took me only 30 seconds of skimming to realize it was not true)? And who now are angry because they didn’t get it?

    Come on, it was funny. Admit it!

    • Zak

      Yes! There were all red-faced when everyone else laughed at them for not getting the joke, so they’re taking it out on Hassan!

      Poor souls.

  12. ABCDEF

    will TNB actually sue you for making up the mess? when you search “TNB sue WWF” via google, you can get plenty of result, you gonna get for what you did.

  13. decypher

    Bravo!

    It seems you need to enlarge your banner twice the size it is now. Some people just can’t read between the lines.

    Keep lying. It keeps me entertained. Good job.

  14. Haha, I studied in the US in a city that was the home of The Onion (also full of JPA scholars who travel all the way to the USA to hang out with other Malaysians and copy each others’ work just like back home). Very pleased that someone is making a Malaysian parody news site. SOKONG!!!

    If people can’t tell that a “news” site with a giant picture of Pinocchio is fake and explicit disclaimer that “the truth is not in here” that’s their problem for being dumbos. Maybe they also think Uncyclopedia is the correct one instead of Wikipedia. ^_^

  15. I agree with @MACC. This is not funny. You are sowing unrest and confusion among Malaysians. See all the confused commentors above?

    My police force (not to be confused with the “third force”) will be paying you a visit soon to rampas your computer. We can use it for much better things, like playing pirated copies of Bioshock 2 that they got from Low Yat for me. Also, I am going to instruct the MACC to investigate the MACC for wasting government funds by goofing off and looking at silly websites during office hours.

    • Melissa

      Alamak, now ppl are gonna say you’re the real Kerismuddin!! 😉

      Gotta love the earnestness of some Malaysians, though! Haha, I’m looking for positives cuz otherwise I just wanna run ’em over on the road…. 🙂

      But anyway, good one, sir – perhaps you should contribute to Nose4News 🙂

    • Ming

      LOL!! That sounds so scary man!! HAHA!!!

  16. WOW

    “As you can see above, my lies sound very credible. It’s almost like I work at CNN or something. I’m such a bastard.”

    great line here!

  17. Spread knowledge not stupidity

    U don’t need to apologize to the readers. Some are mature and well, ‘sophisticated’ enough to understand your jokes. But u failed to realize that many Malaysian do not get this kind of humor. And this is not your fault. However to cause unnesecessary attacks towards TNB and its CEO (I also read a nasty comment somewhere regarding his children) – u should be ashamed.

  18. izcuje

    I hardly think you need to apologize. Infact, I think those “smart” readers need to apologize for just being plain stupid to believe everything they see even though it’s pretty obvious it’s all just not true. Especially those who were so fast to repost your stuff on their blogs as “real” news – perhaps the tagline “True lies. Total horsecrap. Absolute fiction” is too much for their tiny minds to comprehend.

    A sad, sad fact that most Malaysians have absolutely no sense of humour, no common sense and don’t really think. And love “authority/govt/establishment – bashing” so much that they fail to see how idiotic it makes them look.

    Anyway, I think your site is awesome. Keep it up!

  19. Annonyingmous

    apologised my arse… hahaha, good work

  20. L

    Meh……

    It’s pretty much the same as apologizing for the fact that some readers are just either too plain dumb or simply NOT PROFICIENT enough to get the joke.

    Seriously… Time to pull those sticks out of those asses. Meh.

    If it were a crime to be dumb, the world would be a lonely place to live in.

  21. dude

    dude,
    i thought it was real when someone sent me this.
    but dude,i like this nose4news…brilliant satire.
    we need this.i am a fan now.

  22. dude

    awesome man! this is briliant satire!
    regret some people cant see it…lol
    i am a fan of u now,really.

  23. mie

    I feel for you, dude. Really. I was literally pulling out my hair reading the comments on that last post. Haish.

  24. seriously, i don’t understand why those people don’t get the jokes… lol! the suing things;it’s getting funnier… i’m a fan too…

  25. haha… but u got a huge traffic coming to your blog for posting dat! damn im jealous!

  26. it’s so obvious its a joke~ omg!!! poor u!

  27. wth?

    What! How dare you apologize! D:<

  28. SJ

    The problem I think, that made my head fall off by the way!, was that just the “Headlines” have been posted on places like FB and such, with no links to this website!

    So off course, with things the way they are in this wonderfully and brilliantly run country of ours, the “headline” on TNB suing the originator of Global Hour DOES sound believable.

    Thank goodness someone posted the link to this site! Now, I can safely say, I’ll be waiting in anticipation for more “news” everyday! It’s SO much better than reading the newspapers!!

    So good job and keep ’em coming !:)

  29. Al-Azri

    Internal affair of Malaysia again by the Rakyat themselves. Can’t we stand up together and make things better? Saying the fake then the truth is the main problem in the nation now. Covering is not the main answers. Sooner or later, the Rakyat will find out the truth. See, Hassan….

  30. littlelittleworld

    lolz. keep on posting!

  31. davidcaruso_foranemmy

    You’re brilliant….and this apology is even more brillieant….u shld do the sequel to Jim Carrey’s Liar Liar….im glad u left CNN (I presume u did).

    All hail Hassan Skodeng….the only one that manages to see the shit in this country with a smirk on his face (and big grins from the rest of us)…IWK move aside.

  32. XNAB

    Well done, your joke “TNB Sue WWF” reach 79,600 hits (& growing) in google. TNB going to be famous….

  33. Lufkin

    OMG!! you guys got no sense of humor? why so serious? hahaha!!! im crying, too much laughing…

  34. hoho.. hope tnb not sue u.. pincochio… ahakss

  35. kiwiii

    come on people, for those who believed this crap and spread it around are those who are really out of their mind and causing the trouble for Hassan. Please be mindful enough to seek the SOURCE for any material u are reading online to just make sure it is reliable BEFORE BELIEVING IT. You and I know that anyone could do anything on the internet. so it is actually up to u readers to be responsible enough to yourself before believing anything that is posted on the web. come on, don go blaming Hassan and saying that he deserves what he’s gonna get=.=

  36. tuhau

    +++points to izcuje

    lol…i love this blog!!! im a fan!!!
    full of craps and bulshit…wonder how others didnt get the joke..haha…

  37. Zak

    Maybe you should have a giant pop up with blinking lights and huge 25pt size text saying that “This site is not real!!!! Its fake news, get it? Go away if you have no sense of humor/open-mind/life” before you enter the site. Maybe then those people will begin to get the idea. hahaha.

    Great site Mr.Skodeng. Laughter makes the world a happier place. Wish that more people would just relax and laugh.

  38. dill

    HAHAHAH i love the picture and the caption.
    you’re awesome. kutgw.

  39. Bob

    Eat shit and die Cunt face.

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  41. Kacang

    This proves some of the readers here are a very gullible, acting on emotions rather than the mind. Have anyone read “The Onion”? Maybe the language used here seems too believable. May I suggest inserting a disclaimer (eg: This article is a fiction) to ensure that people do not react unnecessary. Seriously people, lighten up!

  42. idiotic brain can’t think of other thing!!

  43. Zak

    Oh man, i love reading the comments! And just an observation, and pardon me if i offend anybody, but it seems the people who are angry write with a fair bit of grammatical and spelling errors. Could there be a correlation between this and not being able to understand the spoof article?

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  45. Hang Tuah is obviously Chinese

    “but it seems the people who are angry write with a fair bit of grammatical and spelling errors. Could there be a correlation between this and not being able to understand the spoof article?”

    Yes. I noticed that too.

  46. fooshan

    I personally think the author of this website is genius!!

    Ppl need to lighten up.

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  48. funny

    go to hell….dude~~ don’t spread rumours around…the world is crazy enough!!!

  49. Tinkerbell

    Why so serious? *roll eyes*
    Ha… gullible sumore next time! =)

  50. Eric

    wah….i thought it was real, is your blog is writing lies than better tell everyone in the 1st place.

  51. Najibb Rasa'zk

    I need you in my PR team! When can you start to work?

  52. TNB

    Hey, I want to sue you Hassan for two things!

    1.) You are making joke of our credibility! You think this is funny? You are making Malaysian to feel insecure to us and attempting western lies to “memporak-perandakan” our country! Traitor!

    2.) You are revealing TNB top secret……

  53. congrats bro/sis bcoz u made your site hits!

    hopefully 4ever…

    so what next?

    plz put my web add as your co writer.

    regards,

    http://tagtag.com/conspiracy2012

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  55. 1Malaysia

    awesomeness 😉

  56. ibat

    The apology is better than the original article. Reading through the comments, please do now apologise for the apology. I’m sure that would be even funnier!

  57. totally got it

    hey hassan, you didn’t have to apologise. why should you? you satired that article so well, a blond would’ve gotten it. huh? oh yea, i forgot. we’re in Malaysia.

  58. steady.as.it.goes.

    Encik Skodeng, first off, good apology man very well said! 😉 but reading some of the comments above has reinforced my belief that very few m’sians actually understand (much less appreciate) satire, parody and just plain tongue-in-cheek humor.
    as for those stiffs who wanna sue, well, maybe they lost their funny bone or just cant read too well. sigh..
    pls dont stop writing man. malaysia could do with more of you. at least we would learn to loosen up and laugh at ourselves from time to time. keep up the good work (and good humor)!

    Cheers..

  59. diva

    please write back..were craving more fiction from you

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