MACC teams up with McD to speed up investigations

FAST & FURIOUS: The fearsome MaccDonald's

KUALA LUMPUR — Amid calls to speed up investigations, the Malaysian Anti Corruption Commission (MACC) has announced that it was forming a joint venture with global franchise McDonald’s, in hopes that it could adopt the fast-food restaurant’s record speedy delivery model. The new, rebranded and streamlined investigation venture, set up to tackle high profile cases, will be referred to as MaccDonald’s™.

In a Press conference held at the commission’s headquarters in Putrajaya earlier today, MACC Chief Commissioner Y. Bhg. Dato’ Haji Abu Kassim bin Mohamed said that this move was necessary, seeing the rise in high profile cases and the heightening public scrutiny.

“We realised the importance of not only solving corruption cases, but to do it in a timely fashion,” said Abu Kassim. “Ever since our bureau days, we’ve always placed speed and accuracy as equal priorities when it comes to putting an end to corruption, but now the need is even more dire. With more and more high profile cases cropping up, people expect more from us, and it is understandable. And that is why we’re forming this alliance with McDonald’s to streamline our processes and get results faster.”

McDonald’s Malaysia managing director Sarah Casanova said that the company is proud to partner with an organisation such as the MACC. “Our mission has always been to provide our customers with wholesome, healthy and clean dining experience. And nothing says ‘clean’ better than an anti-corruption commission.

“Throughout the years, McDonald’s has perfected the art and science of delivery to ensure that our customers get their nutritious and delicious meals as fast as possible, from the time they order,” she added. “With this new partnership with MACC, we’ll be imparting our experience and knowledge to the corruption-busting industry. We consider this our civic duty, and are very proud to be part of this initiative. Kudos to the good people at MACC.”

ABU KASSIM: We aim to deliver justice fast

Abu Kassim said that initially, the new crack fast-investigation unit will be based in Putrajaya, dealing with cases in the federal territories. “We’ll begin with cases with national interest, such as bribery allegations against senior government officers, GLC personalities or politicians. We aim to clear the backlog of federal cases before we expand into other states. Of course, with the new fast-investigation system in place, I believe we’ll be able to clear or convict people within days, and not months or years as some cases go now.”

Abu Kassim said that if this venture goes well, the MaccDonald’s units, or ‘MaccD™’, will not only be set up in other MACC branches, but also would handle smaller cases, such as bribery cases involving lower-ranked officers.

“Bribery and corruption is wrong, whether the value is billions of ringgit, or just the RM50 you pay to get out of a traffic offence trouble,” said Abu Kassim, sternly. “Corruption and dishonesty is the root cause of the downfall of civillisations. We at MACC — and the MaccD — take every case seriously.”

GOOD, CLEAN FUN: Ronald MaccDonald

Among the new services planned for the MaccD unit include a 24-hour drive-through corruption reporting window at all McDonald’s outlets. “We’re making it easier for people to report instances of corruption,” said Abu Kassim, as Ronald McDonald, McDonald’s mascot clown, ‘arrested’ the Hamburglar, another mascot, for trying to ‘bribe’ him with a delicious double cheeseburger, amid laughter and applause from the amused audience.

“Every report that results in an arrest and conviction will also be rewarded special coupons, valid for a whole year,” said Abu Kassim. “The coupon value will depend of the value of the corruption, of course, and can be redeemed with any of MaccDonald’s special edition MaccValue Meals™,” he added as he bit into a Big Macc. “Wow, busting corruption is SO yummy!”

Abu Kassim also said that he aims to begin the MaccDelivery service by next year, which promises to investigate, prosecute and convict wrongdoers within 30 minutes. “If we’re late, you’ll get your money back, guaranteed.”

6 Comments

Filed under National News

6 responses to “MACC teams up with McD to speed up investigations

  1. Jason Sim

    you never fail to impress and amuse! keep up the good work!

  2. Alvin

    This is a good one!

  3. Abidin

    great idea for macc

  4. Dan

    MACC follow the gahmen branch’s model can oredi. How they make the disappearance of money is even faster than McD’s delivery of fast food.

  5. Kit

    that’s called delivering fast justice as opposed to justice fast….

    the MACC people must be such Macchines…

  6. P.Dev Anand Pillai

    Wow, this much be a joke, catching people and convicting them within days, what kind of system is this? So now we will have McDonald’s to fall back on when we need to alert the authorities about the corrupt lurking around! and the MACC will spring into action and catch the culprit before the cheeseburger arrives at your table! If we don’t change this government, we will all be taken for fools and the ultimate victims of a system like this will be our poor children! So please get registered and exercise your right to vote or else who knows, we might end up as a cheeseburger spalttered on one of the MACC buildings! Then they will claim that we went to our maker voluntarily!

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