Selangor introduces more water authority bodies to combat confusion

SHAH ALAM — The Selangor state government today announced the formation of more organisations that would look over water supply matters in the state, in an effort to counter the confusion amongst the people regarding the roles of the existing water authority bodies.

CLEARER WATER: New authority bodies to simplify water management & avoid confusion

CLEARER WATER: New authority bodies to simplify water management & avoid confusion

Speaking to reporters at his office, Mentri Besar Tan Sri Abdul Khalid Ibrahim said that the government realises that with the many different national and state agencies, firms, commissions, service departments and committees dealing with the water issue today, such as SYABAS (Syarikat Bekalan Air Selangor), PUAS (Perbadanan Urus Air Selangor), LUAS (Lembaga Urus Air Selangor), SPAN (Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Air Negara), Puncak Niaga, PUSPEL and perhaps several others, the rakyat may be rather confused about their functions and responsibilities.

“We admit, it’s hard to point the finger at the right organisation when facing problems such as the emergency water stoppage this weekend,” said a forlorn Khalid, cautiously and slowly sipping on a glass of water. “I mean, we in the administration also have problems trying to figure out who does what and who’s supposed to be taking care of which part of the water supply, what more the regular folks?

“And this confusion is further made worse by the tug-of-war between the Federal government and the State goverment … the different messages and propaganda you find in newspapers and portals on both sides are clouding the complicated situation even more!” said Khalid.

“As such, we’re taking the proactive measure of introducing more bodies to take care of the specific functions in the complex process. Hopefully this would simplify things and make the people happier.”

Asked to give the specific numbers and names of the new agencies, Khalid said that in total, there will be around 10 to 15 new bodies, plus minus 2 or 3 and depending on whom you ask at what time of the day and what day of the week.

“We’ll have the Kumpulan Eksesais & Latihan Air Selangor (KELAS) to train all the waterworks employees in the art of waterworking, Krew Enforsmen & Rondaan Air Selangor (KERAS) to handle all water supply and billing collection enforcement-related matters, Perbadanan Urusetia Laluan Air Selangor (PULAS) to take care of the turning on and off of water taps in the reservoirs and Team Percikan Air Selangor (TEMPIAS), who will smoothen the water pipes and canals to ensure that we don’t lose too much water from splashes and leakages.

“Of course, we’ll have our emergency response committee to deal with water disruptions, Committee for Emergency Management and Action for Selangor (CEMAS), and they will work closely with the Legal Management Affairs of Selangor (LEMAS), when things really get out of control,” said Khalid, confidently. “And we’ve also got the Pejabat Anti Negatif Air Selangor (PANAS) to handle the public and media relations, and they will be supported by the state-funded, pseudo-NGO Kumpulan Inspirasi Penduduk Awam Selangor (KIPAS), who will manage public perception.”

Khalid said that he was confident the new organisations will help the rakyat get a clear picture about the water supply issues in the state, and they would be happier with the improved service.

“The authorities I mentioned just now, along with a few others I can’t recall right now, plus some yet-to-be properly named ones, will work as one to ensure everyone gets some seriously quality water. Everyone has a job to do, and clear functions for the people to refer to.

“So no worries about hitting a brick wall or not getting any response when you need action — each of these organisations will be centrally managed by a committee that has the authority to take immediate and decisive action when needed, the Majlis Agensi-agensi & Lembaga-lembaga Air Selangor (MALAS).”

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4 Comments

Filed under Humour, National News

4 responses to “Selangor introduces more water authority bodies to combat confusion

  1. Himpunan Agensi Mengurus Perkhidmatan Air Selangor (HAMPAS)

  2. HAHAHA! mmmmmmm now we have to try to not read this stuff or else someone will accuse us of stealing your ideas! Great satire and brilliant writing! :)

  3. Of all the articles, this is great fun. Though none could actually beat the one about TNB

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