WORLD — Roughly 7 billion people around planet Earth today realised that despite the hype and sentimental bullshit, 11:11:11 11-11-11, the stylised expression of 11:11:11am, 11 November 2011, is just a stupid point in time, with no significance whatsoever to anything important. To the disappointment of the world’s population, the moment came and went without anything remotely remarkable happening.
“Shit, man. I was hoping something big happened,” said Mbutu Kwambe, a 35-year-old trader in Zimbabwe’s capital city, Harare. “I waited outside, with my laptop and TV on, to see if any alien would appear to take over the planet or if Armageddon would happen. Zilch. What a waste of good numbers.”
Li Shan, 47 from Shanghai agreed. “I took the day off from my accounting job to fully immerse myself in the moment. I mean, this supposedly significant number only happens every hundred years or something. It’s bigger than the eclipse of the sun, or even the near-miss of some potentially harmful comet! But what the hell, man. My poop this morning was more eventful.”
At the United Nations headquarters, leaders of the world voiced their dissatisfaction that none of the UN members did anything big to ensure that the moment would be celebrated next year onwards.
“From fuck’s sake, do I have to do everything around here?” said UN secretary general Ban Ki-Moon in disgust at a special session to address The Moment, right after the moment came and went. “Where are all the fireworks? The man-made disasters? Some significant event we’d be able to tie to The Moment and celebrate year after year? How come nobody invaded anybody? Or bombed the hell out of some city? We can’t just depend on North Korea to be the bad guy and do some newsworthy shit all the time!”
However, there were some small consolations for the World. Everywhere across the globe, couples were getting married, girlfriends were proposed to and wedding vows were remade at the precise moment the digital clock displayed the 1′s. Hopes were abound that perhaps, the digits would magically make the unions more significant and stronger than regular ones.
“My new husband and I officially became a family at 11:11:11 11-11-11!” said Regina Lim, a beaming bride from Kuala Lumpur, as the groom Ronald Chan looked on in mild amusement. “I know that being married at The Moment will ensure our happiness and longevity of our marriage. It’s such a magical and romantic moment!”
Mr Chan, when met privately later however said, “Sheesh, it’s such a pain. I mean, it’s Friday late morning — who the heck marries on a weekday? But she wanted it, so, being the doormat that I am, I let her have it.”
Asked whether he believed the significance of the Moment as much as his new wife, he said, “I don’t know. She’s so bossy and I’ve got a short temper. I want kids, she doesn’t. So as you can see, we’ve got some serious compatibility issues yet to be resolved. We’d be lucky to survive the next year.”