Malaysia beats Arsenal 25,741 – 0

KUALA LUMPUR — In what many pundits considered a ‘grossly unfair match’, Malaysia’s national football squad tonight beat visiting English Premier League club Arsenal 25,741-nil, with most of the goals scored in the last 15 minutes.
The Malayan Tigers began their onslaught on the oblivious-looking Gunners right from the start, when Mohd Aidil Zafuan shot from the middle of the field squarely into the helpless Gunners’ goal. None of the visitors could do anything, seeing how the ball travelled at the speed of light.
Half a minute later, the ball found its way into Arsenal’s goal yet again, when Zafuan’s mental powers willed it away from the feet of Aaron Ramsey and travelled past goalie Wojciech Szczesny right into the net.
Roughly two seconds later, Kunalan Subramaniam stole the ball from a shocked Carl Jenkinson, dribbled playfully around the superstar and shot nonchalantly, while blindfolded, into the visitors’ net.
And by the time the score went past the five thousand mark nearing half time, Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger knew that the fight was over. Throwing his arms into the air hopelessly, he took off his pants as a sign of defeat and left the Stadium Malawati to express his disgust.
The humiliation by Malaysia XI continued in the second half, the home team deciding not to let the visitors off easy. As the Gunners looked on dejectedly, envying the Tigers’ almost magical footballing skills, the local boys had a feast, scoring an average of 138 goals a minute. By this time, no one kept track of who scored the goals — everyone on the field wearing the black and yellow jersey had a ball, pun intended.
As the whistle blew, head coach Datuk Rajagopal was seen waking up from his nap and going onto the field, consoling the Arsenal players, who were mostly crying their eyes out and collapsing in shame.
In the post match Press conference, Rajagopal said that he was generally pleased with his boys’ performance, but cautioned them not to be complacent when facing two more EPL teams, Liverpool and Chelsea, visiting in a few weeks’ time.
“While this was sort of a ‘warm up game’ tonight, I expect the Tigers to put more effort in thrashing the English teams,” said Rajagopal. “I’ve told them, no less than a hundred thousand goals for each game.”

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8 Comments

Filed under Sports, World News

8 responses to “Malaysia beats Arsenal 25,741 – 0

  1. LOL…you had fun writing this, didn’t you? =)

  2. wah .. malaysia main bagus! tgk highlight macam arsenal je yg bagus. tertipu gue

  3. Hahaha! No pictures? lols

    • owh man, i missed the game… would love to see a very competitive game like this… imagine our excitement cheering “goals!!” everytime the Tigers scored… i thot it would be another boring game with a 0-4 result or sumthing like that so i skipped it… damn i was wrong huh…

  4. Fuiyoh.. ganas….

    of all scores ahahahha… even shaolin soccer also lose

  5. guesthere

    u have imagination. watching too much fairly odd parents I think.

  6. This guy’s wonderland is better than Alice’s. Craving for more articles from you.

  7. C#

    LOL
    The day when our football is actually that good is the day that I’ll support our home team even when they’re losing.

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